If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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