do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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