I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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