I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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