I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
