I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
