Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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