Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
