I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
