He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
