dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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