help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
