He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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