And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
