And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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