Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
