How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You work out of a Hotel?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
