let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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