We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
