a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
