Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
