That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
