I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My vagina just clenched in fear
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
