My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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