she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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