office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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