It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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