Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
