I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
