Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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