either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
