I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
