Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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