He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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