I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
