I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
