Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
