glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
