kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
