Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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