i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
