I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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