The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
