He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
