This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Someone shattered a urinal.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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