She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
