i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize