Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
