my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
