I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
