She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
