Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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