I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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