I can tuck mytits in my pants
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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