when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
