we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
