There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have post one night stand depression
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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