Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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