You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
