Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
