Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
