Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
