Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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