Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
