so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
